Petunia, Artist, Tomi,

Thank you all for your supportive posts. I appreciate it very much. Yes, california is "no fault" "dissolution of marriage" "community property" except for what I have gained through the estate of my grandmother, my settlement from workmans comp, & my Mothers estate. It complicates things a little because I have to account for those $ amounts & prove what things I acquired using the money. The rest is rather simple.....only asset is the house.....debt beyond all recognition......sale of house is going to pay off debt & what is left over is payed back the amount I am paying out of the estate right now to keep things going....then divided 50/50. But we have had things for so long, that their value is so small.

I have been thinking about this for so long that is kinda feels funny to actually do something about it (taking the first step). He seems to be ok with it so far & willing to sit down with my lawyer & talk it all out. He thinks of something & puts his thinking on how it is to be handled. I told him that the law determines how it is to be handled not him.....it may go the way he thinks maybe not.....what is, is, whether he likes it or not.

I told him he is probably going to come out better with my having a lawyer than if we delt with it ourselves & things didn't get handled & I just went away with things. He is probably going to get more than he actually thinks. It blows my mind that he thinks he is going to be able to pay the homeowners fees for out vacation condo which he wants 1 week of. He can't even qualify for an appartment....let alone have enough left over to pay for fun stuff.

It is a given.....I get all the animals.....wondering if there is going to have to be visitation rights.....lol......wouldn't doubt it if he is living anywhere close to me. Don't know if they are considered assets but only breeding my horses.....but the outcome isn't guaranteed anyway in order to estimate future income from them. My lawyer asked me to write down questions when they come up. I already had over a page of questions that came from internet research, when I saw him the first time.....they will get answered later.....along with many more I am sure will come up.

I know my pdoc was right when he said I was going to exchange one set of stresses for another, but I think the relief is going to far outweigh the stress.

Thanks again,
Debbie