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Originally Posted by Fartraveler
T's do not apologize. I do not know why, but it irritates me too. Because they are all about [me] taking responsibility for my stuff, but somehow anything they do in therapy is somehow also [my] stuff.
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i'm sorry Far that your T has never apologized. that is crummy. i really don't know if my T will or not. so far, she has handled this all poorly and my fear is that she is going to try to turn it around and say it's my stuff when i know it isn't. it kind of freaks me out to think how a T could abuse their power and do that when they screw up.
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The biggest concession I have ever gotten from my T with regard to things I know she's done wrong is:
from her: "I know that I sometimes make mistakes but I also know I am not a bad person." (I suppose she was modeling that for me, but it felt more like her being therapeutic than like an actual apology.)
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hmmm...
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and also she has at times managed to admit that if we are both part of this relationship, any problems can't be ALL my fault.
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that is pretty good.
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But you're right, it's like pulling teeth.
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i so appreciate when people can apologize simply. it's funny, i find guys to be better at that. i have a friend who i used to help out with spiritual stuff, it's sort of feels like a therapeutic relationship at times, and he said some things that i was very hurt by. when i told him how hurt i was he made no excuses nor gave explanations but simply said he was sorry and he hadn't meant to hurt me. i try to do it like that as well. but i guess everybody has baggage and for some denial of responsibility is part of it.
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Bleech to all T's. Bleech, I say!
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thanks for understanding.
