Quote:
Originally Posted by Jess Petty
honestly, i hate giving head. i hate giving head more than i love receiving it. in every relationship i try, but i run into the same problem. it makes me sick. while im doing it im fine, and it doesn't bother me. but I'll be doing something a few hours later, and the smell that was perfectly fine when i was going down will wash over me and make me completely nauseous. then the taste will start getting stuck in my mouth, the same taste that didn't bother me before starts making me want to vomit. no matter how much mouthwash i use or no matter how many times i brush my teeth. it won't leave me alone until i completely put it out of my head.
i know it's psychological. but i just can't make myself like it. i know dudes that love going down on their girlfriends. and i have nothing against it. i just can't like it, it always grosses me out after the fact.
i talked to my girlfriend about it. and she got all defensive like "i take care of myself!!" i told her that i wasn't saying she stank or tasted bad. it's just that every time i remember it the smell and taste come back and i get sick to my stomach. then she was like "if you're trying to tell me you don't want to go down on me anymore then i won't go down on you either." to witch i replied "deal."
now she's really mad at me, but im thinking she just doesn't realize how much i don't like it. i would never ask her to do something she didn't like. this is a really ridiculous reason to be mad.
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I dont find it to be a ridiculous reason to be mad. what if she came to you and you and she did something together that is important to you, doesn't have to be sexual. and then after spending what you felt was enjoyable quality time together and she said I like you putting your arm around me while you are doing it but after when I m remembering I realize how much your armpit odors make me want to vomit. hard to take personally isnt it.
a while ago I was remembering some past abuse and I would be fine with my partner but afterwards I would get flooded with past abuse memories. my partner took it personally when said Im fine during the intimate time but afterwards I feel like I want to vomit and I literally run for the bathroom and spend time gagging. it got really bad between me and my partner because my reaction was taken personally. we ended up at the therapists office. what we found out there totally blew my mind because I found out that there were gadgets and gismos that do the job that I could no longer do without getting sick. we bought a few gismos and gadgets,and I was once again able to participate in a way that was comfortable for both my partner and I. We also take time to check in with each other about that age old question "was it good for you?" and we now know that we can be honest with each other with our explorations, wants needs, likes and dislikes and we don't take it personally. learning how to communicate and with the use of gismos and gadgets when one or the other of us cant fully participate has really helped.
there are gismos and gadgets, toys if you will that work for going down male or female. we get some of our toys, gadgets and gismos at an adult movie and products store in town but there are many places on line that also carry things. my partner also goes through adamandeve.com