is it possible for you to ask your therapist what she meant by that question. I have found that each therapist that I have seen meant the question in a different way. I took the risk of telling my therapist I didn't think she was being fair expecting me to just get over it. and risked asking her what she meant. I was surprised to find out that she didn't mean that I should just get over it by letting it go. I found out that question meant something very positive to her.

she said that we all have our chosen coping mechanisms smoking, drinking, cutting, spacing off, being promiscuous. when something bad happens the first reaction is go for that coping mechanism. its not something we never had any control over. its something we taught ourselves to do instead of meeting the challenges we are up against. Then she said I could continue giving this nightmare a reaction by reaching for that negative coping mechanism of cutting that I taught myself to do at a very young age, or I could tell my nightmares, the stress in my life, that argument with someone "sorry but you are not going to make me go running for that knife. You are just a dream about memories and I'm going to sit here and let myself feel sad, feel angry feel whatever that nightmare is making me feel and when I cant stand it anymore Im not going to pick up a knife Im going to pick up the phone and call my therapist." took alot of practice but I was able to change my negative reaction to my nightmares of cutting to the positive of turning on the lamp sitting for a minute then calling my therapist. as time went on that minute turned into two, 5, 10.its still a challenge to sit with my feelings but now my nightmares don't control me by my reacting with a knife after a nightmare. I now control myself by not reaching for that knife and reaching for the phone instead.

maybe your therapist meant the question to be positive and in this way instead of expecting you to just let go as if she thought you could just get over it.