Negtive energy is like a hot piece of metal. The longer you hold on to it, the more it hurts you. At some point, you have to just let it go.
But that is easier said than done, especially when you have devoted so much time and love into this person.

If your family is close enough to you to adivse you in this part of your life, then they are close enough to you to help fill the hole that will be in your heart and being once you are strong enough to step away from this pain. And make no mistake, you are strong-- you have endured more than what you have shared with all of us.

Just remember-- the best way to eliminate something from your life is to replace it with something else that is better. This is why diets arent successful for most people(diets eliminate without supplementation) Can you turn to your 3-month old for comfort and support? A new and time consuming hobby? Your Faith? Your family? A new pet?
I wish you great luck in your endeavors!