I am a basket case. I have no friends. I do not go out. Needless to say, the loneliness from my continued isolation feeds my feelings of self-loathing. I have terrible amounts of fear when dealing with people. Ever since I was a young child, I have stayed away from people. Unfortunately, the result of this was that extreme social incompetence was added to my already out of control feelings of anxiety and sadness. The term that would best describe me is learned helplessness.

Since I was 10 years old, I've always thought I would eventually end up living a life of complete isolation. I remember when the Unabomber was caught back in 96, I thought to myself, "This is my future, minus the bombs (of course)." I am 31 now, and have struggled with this problem for many, many years. I have never found a solution. At my best I have been able to have 2-3 male friends, I have also stumbled into 2 relationships with women over the years.

Over the last 3 years my isolation has become even more extreme. I have never wanted my life to be this way. Unfortunately, the fact that I desire to be different but am unable to escape is soul-destroying.

I don't get involved with resolutions, but in the next year, I would like to try and establish friendships. It would be very nice to even experience love and sex again. The problem is that I do not know how to create and cultivate friendships of any kind. I don't know to proceed, and so I remain where I am. If there is anyone out there who has been able to cope with these types of feelings, I would like to hear how you have managed.