I think the first step to changing a pattern is being aware that the pattern is there in the first place. Think of it not as something shameful, but as the first indicator that you know you want something different.

Your post here is amazing: you are reflecting on what happened and why. You can see that you needed physical comfort, and resorted to the old, previously useful pattern of getting it. It wasn't satisfying to you, because now you can see there are more facets to the issue. Next time you want comfort, maybe you will think of T again and have a plan in place for choosing something different.

You are taking giant steps on an important journey!