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RiverX · Jan 02, 2010, 03:52 PM

Quote:

knowing no matter what happened, T would be there to answer my cries of "where are you?"..and thats just how it went

Wow.
This is what I was thinking, that T.s are second chance people, so, its like we take ourselves to that vulnerable place, and then with a good, trustworthy T the response is different from our history, well in fact it IS a response, and so we can have a new basis, ie a new , a relationship from which to grow.
What has been a trouble for me is that, indeed, I also went to the edge, to that place of trust, so its like I'm living in a real, but at the same time a symbolic emotional emergency, for this purpose, in order to re-wire, so to speak. But in every single time, one way or another, T. has let me down. Why? I dont know if its something about me that somehow produces some kind of unconscious reaction with T.
However, recently various connections have been helping me. I'm sad tho, about how its gone. My wish is to go back tho, and not be devasted. I want to deliver the message, get him to hear me good and proper, - I felt so much for him, and still do, which then seems so unfair, so good at creating the relationship with me, but not the follow thro that I needed.
thats how it seems to me.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Melbadaze

River, as soon as T replied saying she'd sent a card I felt the familiar T back again...whilst I was waiting it felt strange, a good strange, it felt like there was hope..yes there was a hic cup with the card not arriving...but i'd say all in all it
helped me this break....I think as a child I spent my childhood waiting for my unknOwn birth mother to come...I think deep inside me this was getting played out with T during the break,

Quote:

knowing no matter what happened, T would be there to answer my cries of "where are you?"..and thats just how it went

and I now feel warm and to use your word "resolved"