today was really hard on me. i was drug around town. i went into walmart and the secound i walked in the door i got so scared...like everyone is so judgemental. i know they probably didn't even see me. truning bright red wanting so bad just to run out of the store. then we had to go to the mall i stood outside and chain smoked and cried. i get so sad cause i'm so lonley and i have no real friends honestly i have no friends. and i long for friendship so bad. on new years i went to an old friends house with my dad i bought a six pack to share with my old friend we had a falling out cause he tried to sleep with my girlfriend, but i still tried to be nice i offerd him a beer and he just got up went to the shower and left with other friends. so i stayed there sat on the sofa alone and drank. i went home and spent new years alone. locked up in my room.