Alot of good advice here, Michele. I have to agree with what Vickie's said, regarding the safety of yourself and dot's first, and pertaining to the legal aspects....the lease, primarily.

I don't know the laws of your state, but in California, once on a lease, despite who else is on the lease, the inclusion of YOUR name on the lease is a binding legal agreement between you and the landlord/bank (depending if renting or buying..is irrelevant), and the only way you can get your name removed from that lease is by YOU requesting directly from the landlord. If your laws are anything like California's, Jerry (and the landlord), cannot remove you from that lease without breaking the law.
Years ago, I've personally been through the very same situation that you are in now. I had my son then, although my boyfriend had no kids, but made 3 times the money that I did. The house was furnished with all of my belongings. I was on the lease, as well. It only made sense that he left as he had nothing to take with him, other than his personal things, and he could afford finding another place, as opposed to I couldn't.
Unfortunately, though, our roommate, who was my bf's bestie, was studying law and he found a way of removing me off the lease without my awareness, even though I told my attorney that I was on lease, (and since I was on the lease at the time I sought her help, she told me that I had a good case). By the time it went to court, I didn't have a case and I was forced to leave.

I realize that the legalities may very well be less of your immediate concern at this moment, considering how emotionally stressed you are because of Jerry, but they really are a vital tool which can be used in your favor.
Before you make any decisions toward removing self and your dot's, do yourself a huge favor by looking into what legal muscle you do have. This can prove to be quite useful if/when the time comes.

Please know, too, that his behavior is in NO reflection of who you are, or how you are behaving. He has some seriously deepened issues, (and I know you already know that), which were there long before you. Unfortunately, you are the most convenient source to which he targets his aggressions.
It doesn't matter how non-reactive you are toward him or the situation, it will only escalate even more (worse) from where it is now, which I'm sure you are aware of.

At this point, (other than the primary of your safety, of course), your best strategy is to focus on the legal aspects, protect yourself the best way you can legally. In situations like this, nothing speaks louder on your behalf as the force of the law. Let's see him take his attitude into a courtroom, or to the police, and see how far he will get.
If you can, talk with your landlord and see what really IS in your favor.

With Jerry's behavior, you can't win for losing, and if allowed, he will see to it (whether intentional, or not), that your moral and sense of worth is reduced to nothing.
Your situation sounds very much like mine was, (and you've personally supported me throughout mine....provided me with alot of great advice). Now, it's my turn to (hopefully) be of as much help to you as I can be...and some of that assistance is the very same you gave to me.
You can run circles around him trying to accommodate the peace until you face utter exhaustion. My ex was the exact same way...regardless of my efforts, there was no pleasing him. So, I finally decided that since I can't win for losing, I may as well conduct my behavior to MY favor..he's gunna bittch at me, anyway...may as well enjoy self (for what that was worth), in the process, although that brought me little satisfaction.
The fact that he continued to blame me for his misery became too much for me to bear anymore. It resulted in my complete shutdown, which is NOT good. Don't let that happen to you, Michele. That only makes it that much harder on yourself later on.

Tread lightly, rationally and carefully. So long as you are not in harm's way, begin the process of building a case for yourself, if necessary.

I'm so very sorry that Jerry has pushed you to this point that you are forced to create this change...but remember, this is not YOUR creation. HE has forced you into this, and there is nothing wrong with you caring for yourself and your dot's FIRST.

Keep us informed of your progress. We all care very much.

Much loves, Michele

Mary