Exotic, that sounds very intense!!! I know you know this, because you advised me before I did EMDR, but definitely call T if you need her, if those dark thoughts return! When I had my first EMDR, I left feeling so spacey, I don't think I was grounded enough. Within 24 hours, I was having sui thoughts - not bad enough to act on them, but bad enough that I couldn't stop crying and had to call T for an emergency session. I hope this EMDR is very good for you, it sounds like it's been amazing for your productivity! Safe hugs to you!