Hugs to you. I completely understand what you are talking about with not being able to talk to anyone, even a T. I still can't talk in T. I write it down and give it to her when I can. I can't always give her what I write, but it is much easier than saying it. Sometimes I can't bear to have her read it when I am there and ask her to read it after I leave. I would recommend giving T another shot and if you need to give your parents an excuse, then do it, make something up that won't piss them off, say you are having trouble in school, or work or relationships or whatever and you need to talk to someone. Say what ever you need to say to get there, cause this really did affect you even if you made any part of it up, something terrible happened to you and you need to process it and talk about it or write about until it doesn't bother you or affect your life. Don't wait if you don't have to. HUGS to you!