Wow, wpowers, those are really great tips. Thanks so much for taking so much time to talk to me about my dreaming. I am going to especially work on the ability to control my dreams. There are certain dreams where I do know I am dreaming, but in those, I am more of an outside observer to upsetting things.

I am pretty sure most of my dreams are a result of the years of abuses I suffered under my mother. She is a very hurtful person and she has done unthinkable things to me. In fact, I do not think about them much, which I believe is why they are often so present in my dream life. She has hurt me so badly and so deeply that to this moment I am utterly terrified of her. The physical and mental abuses I suffered from her are something that I am working on in therapy, but I only get to see my pdoc/t once a month, so even after 4 years of working on it, it is slow going.

Last night I dreamt of monster like things living in my walls. I have a lot of recurring themes and even some dreams that will be the same thing over and over and over. One particularly seemingly benign, but nonetheless very disturbing dream I have is that I have my eyes open and I can only see someone's fingers covering my eyes. In these dreams I am incapacitated and I can do nothing but look through the fingers. All I see is the sort of red, pink color you see if you were to put your hands over your eyes and look at the sun or a bright light. I have repressed much of my life's events because they were so painful and I think this dream in particular is me trying desperately to remember something. The thing is that I can remember having this dream very young, say 5 or 6 years old. So it may be something that happened even before then.

Wow, sorry to blather on like that. My dreams are a significant problem in my life and I rarely have the opportunity to talk about them.

Thank you for listening and responding. I do appreciate it very much.