Therapy is not a sign of personal failure. If you were injured in a car accident you would need physical therapy to get better. In this instance your soul (which is the root meaning of the word "psyche") has been damaged, and therefore you need psychotherapy. Not because you are "weird" or anything, but because you have an injury to overcome.

I've been abused at various times in my life, between ages 5 and 14, but only the perp who wasn't related to me (the one when I was 5) went to jail. My family tends to want to handle it "from within" rather than call police or get any outside help. In other words, when abuse happens, everybody gets mad at the perpetrator and calls him/her all kinds of nasty names, but nothing is ever done to stop the abuse or protect the victim.

When I was 6 years old, my uncle who was 12 at the time put his hand down my pants. He only did it the one time, and I tend to want to excuse him because he was a child himself. However, 12 is old enough to know better, and the fact that he asked me not to tell anybody is evidence that he knew he was doing wrong. Later he raped my sister, and he was a grown man and no longer has even the flimsy excuse I allowed him. My family knows about it, but nothing was done.

The year I was 14, my grandfather made a grab for me while I was helping him turn over in bed. I excused him because he was very old and feeble, and I figured he was losing his marbles and didn't know what he was doing. I was wrong. I later found out I was only the last (he died not long after) in a long line of teenage girls he did this to. No one ever stopped him, because families used to hide these things. This could shed some light on the reason your family wants to act as if it didn't happen.

I don't know how old you are, or how the mental health system works where you live. Could you go to a school guidance counselor? Could you tell your parents you'd like another try at counseling, that maybe it might work this time? And if they "demand an explanation," just say you think you need help figuring your thoughts out? If this fails, you can always vent here among people who understand.

In any case, please know that you have not failed in any way.

Oh, and one final thought--as far as sexual abuse goes, there is no such thing as "pretty okay."