(((((((mixed))))))

please don't be so hard on yourself mixed. i have found that if i am in the beginning of dealing with a difficult issue/behavior then sometimes that triggers the dang thing to happen. i remember hearing in a 12-step program a saying that we have to test out our behaviors one more time just to see if they are something we really want to leave behind. well, for some of us we test them out numerous times before really giving them up. :P

you know, i always remember how when you first starting posting you said you just knew you weren't going to leave your husband. well, you did it! you did something you didn't think you could and that takes great strength. so, i am betting you will do it again. i also want to add that i don't think i was very supportive of you when you first came and were talking about divorce and i do apologize for that.