BNLsMOM I'm really sorry that I somehow missed this thread until now. It sounds like things are still going really hard for you. I know when I read how you describe yourself and your day, it sounds just like me. The very thought of having to do anything structured outside of my house nearly makes me cry right now just thinking of the odd chance of it happening. I just cannot do it. I cannot commit to anything. Like you its all I can do to pick my son up from school everyday. I hope that you find the miracle drug combo soon.

As far as your husband, to be honest, I kind of want to smack him. Sorry, I know that's awful to say. Have you ever let him read what you've written on here, or would that even work? I just feel like he's not really looking at this from your perspective. If nothing else, maybe you should take one of these great descriptions of your feelings with you to your couples therapy next time and let your therapist explain you and your feelings and your illness to your husband. I realize everyone is allowed to be selfish, but it just seems like he's only looking at this as how it effects him, not how you are suffering. Please don't be angry if I'm being too pushy about your life, I don't mean it in any sort of intrusive way. Just tell me to shut up if you need to.