Hi (((((((((((((tree)))))))))))))))) OMG!!! I could have written this post myself a few years ago. The fact is you're changing. Things that worked in the past for you no longer work. You are becoming more self aware of how you and everything else fit into the big picture. You have every right to change, to want different things out of life, to expect more for yourself. It sounds like your husband is stuck in the old groove. He will need to change too. It sounds like he just doesn't know what's going on right now. He doesn't understand you are different and want a little more out of life and maybe a little more out of him. He's probably somewhat lost, wondering where and how and why he needs to change. He needs to change to accomadate the new you. People change. Marriages change. You're moving forward and that's a good thing. I'm saying all this from my own experience. I've been married for over 30 years, have 2 grown sons and overcame many challanges and obsticles in my life so far. My DH and I have been to hell and back more times than I care to remember but we've always worked through it and that's because both of us are so invested in each other and our marriage. You need to let him know what's going on with you and how you are changing which makes everything else change. You can't go backwards just to keep the status quo. You've just realized that you matter just as much as him in your marriage and are just as important as he is. You now see yourself as an equal and expect to be treated that way. Nothing wrong with that, if fact that's the way it should be imho. No need to feel guilty for growing. It's a good thing. Congradutlation! Now it's just a matter of getting him to understand all of this. Lots of talking with each other helps. There will be lots of growing pains in your marriage too. You will not be alble to always smooth things over anymore. You won't be able to "fix" what's broken all the time. He will need to accept some responsibility for working at your marriage to make things work. My dh and I have learned to crack jokes about most of the small stuff. We keep each other laughing. To many serious issues in life that require serious attention. Like the book says, "Don't sweat the small stuff." Seems to work for us. Of course what do I know? lol Just my 2 cents worth.

Best wishes and take care,
bluesy