Quote:
Originally Posted by perpetuallysad
BNLsMOM I'm really sorry that I somehow missed this thread until now. It sounds like things are still going really hard for you. I know when I read how you describe yourself and your day, it sounds just like me. The very thought of having to do anything structured outside of my house nearly makes me cry right now just thinking of the odd chance of it happening. I just cannot do it. I cannot commit to anything. Like you its all I can do to pick my son up from school everyday. I hope that you find the miracle drug combo soon.
As far as your husband, to be honest, I kind of want to smack him. Sorry, I know that's awful to say. Have you ever let him read what you've written on here, or would that even work? I just feel like he's not really looking at this from your perspective. If nothing else, maybe you should take one of these great descriptions of your feelings with you to your couples therapy next time and let your therapist explain you and your feelings and your illness to your husband. I realize everyone is allowed to be selfish, but it just seems like he's only looking at this as how it effects him, not how you are suffering. Please don't be angry if I'm being too pushy about your life, I don't mean it in any sort of intrusive way. Just tell me to shut up if you need to.
|
I think you're right on. (Will you marry me? LOL)
Today I feel more anxious than depressed, although it's still there. My ex is dropping my son off this afternoon, and although he knows what my condition is, I don't let him see the day to day manifestation of it. I am having such a hard time and I look like he**, so it's going to be hard to hide this time. I am toying with the idea of telling him I have been sick all weekend, but it feels like a lie and I hate to lie. In some situations, I am more honest than I should be. My husband is at his parents hous plowing out their driveway and I hope he is home in time to meet my son. I am hoping to go upstairs and hide using the excuse that I was up all night. I fell asleep somehwere between 4 and 5 this morning.
The neighbors are all outside plowing and I am afraid they'll see me sitting around watching TV. They know I "wasn't feeling well" because I didn't go to the neighborhood New Year's party.
I am going to leave a message for my T asking for an appointment for tomorrow. The problem is I don't want to go out. I have to get my to and from school tomorrow because he has OT Monday mornings.