Definitely a good post. I have learned with my animals besides with children is that they are only as spoiled as we let them be. We set limits & if we inforce them & stick with them, that is when they become understood & respected.

I guess I was lucky & wasn't hit as a child other than maybe a couple of times. It never hurt anything more than my pride. I was taught respect though...it was always yes/no sir, maam. If I forgot, it wasn't a slap.....just a "what was that?" response...it was expected & that was just the way it was....no arguing no discussion....it just was. There were many times I would imagine what parents that I might respect more would be like, but we have the parents we are given just like they are stuck with us as their chidren...gotta make the best out of what we have.

Of course, being an only child, people would immediately think of me as that spoiled only child until they got to know me.

I remember many times pulling away from my parents hugs & affection....it wasn't ok from the time I was young...way to independent & didn't want anyone to know they were my parents either.....how embarrassing. They kept trying & I kept pulling away....didn't like affection at all for most of my whole childhood/teenagehood.

Along the lines of hitting, I remember one time my Mother was wrestling with me for FUN. She pinned my arms down to the floor & for some reason, I panicked...I couldn't hit, but started screaming....don't know where the reaction came from....nothing existed in the past experiences....only in my mind. At least my Mother realized what was going on & we did discuss the situation & she ended up respecting my feelings.

I also had a problem with my daughter. I was home from work & completely exhausted....fell SOUND ASLEEP on the sofa. She was going to bed & came up to me dead asleep & kissed me on the cheek. I struck out to protect myself....from what? anything that could get me in my sleep. I felt so sorry for her because I didn't even remember striking out at her & later my husband told me she ended up clear across the room. I felt sooooo bad...I had to apologize so much to her...& how do you explain that you did something like that you didn't even remember or realize happened. I felt so bad & gave her as much love as I could, but it is hard to undo something like that when it really happens. I have always been dangerous when I am touched in my sleep.....even in the hospital, nurses or inhalation therapists have to not wake me up suddenly because I don't even remember what I do.....it is a scarry feeling for that to happen & I don't even know why I feel like I have to protect myself like that....nothing in my past that would have caused that either.

There are many things that "makes us....".what we are with the reactions we seem to have. It is important to be accepted for what we are, but we also need to respect others & accept them for what they are too. We can have respect for others & still have reactions that just don't seem to make any sense. Doesn't excuse them away when they hurt someone though....we are still responsible to those we hurt because of our actions....just part of life too.

Debbie