Living in a household with simmering anger all around is a frightening thing. It is how I grew up. My father had explosive anger and my mom was always angry at him but didn't express it. Toward the end of her life she told me about how she used to lay in bed thinking of ways to kill him. My H also doesn't express his anger so it smolders and comes out in strange ways (like cleaning). The recognition of where you are and what you have been living with doesn't negate the good you have done and encouraged in others. Maybe some marriage counseling with a separate T (with or without H) would be the thing to consider now? I know some others who have done this. You could focus on the issues surrounding your relationship with H and keep T to yourself because you need that level of support right now.

Take care of you -- and remember that because you have been mistreated doesn't make you a bad person.

((Tree))