Little update.
After not contacting him myself since before New Years I relented yesterday... Silly I know.... I just sent a 'Hi' text message. It ended up with a little conversation via text. That I can handle, talking to him I don't think I could. He said he was having a ****** day (that makes me smile - I hope it was ******). I ended the texts which makes me feel good about myself.
I am back at work today so that will keep me busy for the day which I see as a good thing.
I do miss him a lot but it's not like it was before.
I realised the reason I didn't go and see him up at the house on Saturday is because there is nothing left to say, that is an empowering feeling.
I am sure that what we had is dead for the time being and I'm okay with that

Dwena, have you posted here? I couldn't find your story/situation and would love to be able to help if I could.