I am not actually married, but feel like I have been through a horrible divorce. Three months ago I broke up with my boyfriend of 13 years. We have been living together for 9 years. I thought he was my soul mate. Until I found out that he was lying to me and was having emotional relationships with two other women behind my back. He called these women "friends", however he does admit to kissing one of these women but claims nothing more happened. I promptly broke up with him and vowed to never take him back. He claims he is innocent of any cheating and that he only pursued these other relationships to boost his ego. He thinks I am over reacting and wants to work things out. I feel that I was cheated on and that I can never look at him the same way.

I have been able to keep myself together except for the "bad days". Today is one of those days. I feel lonely, lost, confused. I start to blame myself. I wonder if I will ever find that kind of love again. I wonder if I am making a mistake by not taking him back. Just the thought of going on a date with a stranger and starting all over again makes me start to panic. I don't know what I am doing anymore. Can anyone offer any advice?