Holy smokes, you weren't kidding when you warned of the length of your post!

Well, Zac, I'm sorry that you had such a difficult time with your father. I can understand how easily you delved into your relationship with your girlfriend. It's actually very common for our first love to become a painful experience. That girlfriend saw you at very weak, emotionally vulnerable times of your life. It's not uncommon for people to give their all into what they are willing to give anything in those points of life.

That is okay. The hard part is the stress that dependence puts upon the relationship. The one depending (you) on the relief (her) quickly becomes a burden. It is incredibly painful ~ yes, I've been the burden (too many times!) ~ I know! What I've learned, over the years, is to always have other things that I can put some energy and enjoyment in. I don't have many. But some is much better than only one or two.

Exercise is my personal fave ~ walking, aerobics, weight-lifting, cycling, etc. Bird-watching, baking, music, watching baseball & football games, nature, coming to Psych Central, games with my kids or being with my boyfriend. Those are the positives in my life. The more positives I have, without dependence upon anyone else, the better. That's what I honestly believe.

Hope that you've gained something helpful from my response to you. Very best wishes to you!