Oy. That was about time you got on here. I agree with all the above, but I think it's about time that you both got to a couples therapist. It is NOT EASY dealing with this illness, and while I think being understanding is good, if your hubby starts getting nasty with you, it is time to tell him that that is not acceptable. Not as "fighting" words, but simply that if he feels he needs to critisize or snipe, he needs to take that need elsewhere.
A lot of men that i know who get depressed can get hypercriticall and controlling. ithink it is an attempt to not feel helpless, and some women do this too. (I am assuming that you are a woman writing about a husband, am aware that you could be the husband) Simply blowing up on him/her will not help, but somehow, you guys need to sit down with someone and work this out. Huggs, you are going through so much.