CK, I think you've hit it exactly! It's not the words, it's the delivery.

For example, when I was a child being bullied, I quickly learned that when the adults said, "Just ignore it and don't let it bother you," they usually meant, "I'm ignoring it, so don't bother me with it." Tossing off a platitude, no matter how technically correct, is not helpful or supportive.

Positive attitude is important. It can be accomplished. It is not easy, nor is it the only answer.