I agree that we dont know about the mom. Even more so her mom isnt here so saying what the mom should do wont change anything. The one who is here is Miss A and she was looking for help. She felt bad about the situation, as the title of the thread indicates. She didnt come in saying my "mom said she loved me and gave me a hug so i clocked her!". Hopefully Miss A can sift thru the posts and absorb the good info here for her. I think everyone agrees hitting wasnt a good choice. So from there you look how to prevent the situation from repeating itself. In my mind that means Miss A should either talk with or write mom a letter and let it be known that when she is really angry forced affection when she isnt feeling it isnt the answer. That puts the ball back in mom's court and if she really is trying it should stop it.

Bama my opinion is that people go with what they are taught up to a certain point. If your parents repeatedly told you how stupid you are you will most likely believe you are stupid no matter where the truth lies. What age can you change that? Im sure it differs between people but at 14 i dont think its that big of a stretch that its the parents fault(for being spoiled, if she is).