X3... I too am very sorry for all you have gone through resently. You are clearly a very insightful and wise girl to be able to speak about your sorrows. Please don't hold this in from the people in your life who love and care about you. Take it from some of us older owls.... get help as soon as possible. The longer you try to cope on your own the more this will impact your life forever more. It really is that important that you find help and don't limit the sources of the help.

Grief is difficult to process and it takes time and support to work through in a healthy way. Be sure to let your counsellor and teachers know what is going on with you. Let someone you trust in so that they can help you.

When I was about your age my mother was in a serious accident and left paralyzed. It devestated our family and for the most part I kept the effects to myself. While I masked my pain and used school as my refuge from my home life one day a teacher came to me to express concern for what he had noticed to be a real change in me. To this day I remember his kindness and will always appreciate him for providing me with someone to talk to. He was my angel when I really needed one. I was very fortunate to have him notice and reach out to me. Don't suffer any longer than you have already... reach out for help and support.

Wishing you well and your grandmother a speedy recovery. She is blessed to have a granddaughter such as you. Let your love shine and your grief and sadness subside. May 2010 bring great blessings of new joy. Take good care.