Although I am not super experienced in dating (one girlfriend), and have never dated online, I think I understand part of the appeal of dating online. When I was first dating my ex, I didn't want to call her because I was was nervous. I was much more comfortable IMing because the medium is much less personal, and has less room for embarrassment. Eventually her friend told me to stop being a wuss and just call her... and I did. It made everything else about the relationship much better because it was more personal.

Online dating seems like it has the potential to be used a sort of crutch (and I don't mean that as a slight to you in any way) because of the sort of anonymous nature of it. You are trying to be personable thru a very impersonal medium, its kinda like trying to eat cereal with a hole-less mask on. In addition it allows other people to kinda take advantage of this in a more deceptive way, as opposed to just a more comfortable medium.

I hope I kinda shed a different light on how you look at things, a different perspective always helps me. Good luck with your journey.