Hi Cutbuddie,

Remember me? I was the first person to post after this crappy New Year's Disaster happened? There's a couple of things I would like to add here and a confession I would like to make.

I really envy you. I really am proud and so happy that you were able to tell your parents what happened to you. I know that you made them unhappy when you did. But it was very brave of you and you obviously felt very safe in telling them. Even though your father has PTSD from having served in the RCMP, he and your mom agreed upon getting you some professional help and that is a MAJOR thing. You may not have the ideal parents in your eyes, but believe me when I tell you that they are pretty cool.

When I was your age, actually a little younger, on two occasions, two boys in my neighborhood attempted to rape me. I've never told anyone about this before. The reason I say "attempted" is because one, I know, would never have succeeded beyond the fondling stage because there were other people around but I slugged him and ran away. The other almost succeeded but, being very nimble and strong, I pulled up one leg and kicked him as hard as I could in his kidneys and it threw him off of me long enough for me to get up and pull my pants up and run. He couldn't outrun me because I was on the track team. I've always been very strong (until the past 15 years or so) and this was before I blew out my knee at age 15.

This last one was a very close call. I never told my parents about either incident because, first, they would have blamed me for them, and second, they had already raised me with so much shame I wasn't about to set myself up for more of that crap.

It took 30 years before I ever told anyone about these things and that was a therapist. I carried the pain and trauma with me that long.

Please, please don't do that to yourself. You deserve to feel better. There is no need to punish yourself for something like this.

Please. Do it for yourself. And, if you can't do that, do it for me.