my mother. oh, where to start? she's emotionally manipulative and mean. she's so extremely self-centered and cruel when she doesn't get the attention that she feels is her birthright. that would mean 24 hour availability to her, allowing her to treat me in any fashion she chooses, continually bringing up her drama queen role in the past, and always hurting and trying to control me.

well, a few months ago, i quit speaking to her. however, because i'm raising my nephew, her grandson we simply had to speak from time to time about her visits. at first my husband and daughter were doing ALL the go-between contact and tired of it quickly. there came the time when no one was here and she was coming to get him. anyhow, since then i've had to speak with her twice a week. i've limited it to discussion about the baby. she hasn't liked any of this. she's done everything about the schedule with the baby to get me on the phone and talking to her more.

i called her tues to make sure she was getting the baby. she didn't know...blah, blah, blah. i said, "mom, i really need for you to. i've not been doing well and count on my alone time." she didn't get him, and i didn't go into how she wasn't feeling well, or how i wasn't feeling well. i just don't go there anymore.

anyhow, last nite i called her to see if she was getting the baby today. she said as far as she knew she was. then she said, "are you feeling any better?" i said, "no, not really. it's been rough." she said, "yeah, i can imagine. it's rough for everyone." i said, "well, it was getting better, but then i lost my father (he's passed away just under 3 months ago). they were divorced." she said, "i didn't know you had a father." i said, "what?" she said, "i said, i didn't know you had a father." slowly and deliberately. God, that's messed me up! is she denying his existence? is she denying mine? i just don't understand. i know it was meant to be cruel, but just like when i was younger, i don't understand this cruelty.

thanks for listening. ugh

kd