(((((((((((((tree)))))))))))))))

i totally get the not talking thing. it can be so reflexive for some of us and in your situation i'm sure it's incredibly difficult with that big fat lie you were told. i am so sorry you were ever told that crap. in ACA they say the 3 rules in our dysfunctional families were: don't talk, don't feel, & don't trust. we're breaking those rules tree! it's good to be a bit rebellious at times.