I am so sorry that your husband is not getting it. Some of my family is like that - they love me but push me to "cheer up" or just be better. I know it is because they want what is best for me but don't know how to help me. I tried talking to my sister about it the other night and she got so defensive she isn't speaking to me at the moment. But I think that careful, open communication is so important. Loving a mentally ill person is scary and probably really difficult. We are hard to understand and our "mood" changes keep all of us guessing. Patience is important for both sides.
As far as you doing all the right things but not getting better, maybe your meds aren't right after all. It is all trial and error and what works does not necessarily work forever. And maybe you need to work with your therapist on the things that scare you - a job, a schedule, etc. When I am off work and a bad episode hits, I will sleep all day like I did this past weekend but this morning it was time for work so I went and took it ten minutes at the time and the cloud lifted this afternoon. Before I moved to the department I am in now, I had a few great people there who knew about my disorder and accepted it when I was really quiet and struggling and just sort of waited it out. Now that I am in a different larger department where only my new boss knows, I feel like I have to be up even when I can barely speak to them. Hopefully that will get better.
I am not saying that working is do-able for you. I just thought you might think of it as a possible goal. It is not easy but might make you and your husband both feel better about your progress.
Good luck and keep talking.