Thanks all :-) Mick got her point through to me last night. Won't say how.... but she was right. She only did it so I would listen to her and back up.... have to stay safe and I was not listening. T is ok but Mick is right - he is only a stranger. So whatever. I can deal with not being close to him. Not sure about Little One - we did keep her out of the room while we had our "conversation" ..... Thank you again all for the help.