It is very difficult. I think the hardest parts are (1) being alone with no one to share the grief, (2) the suddeness of it no matter how long i had been preparing and (3) the realization and hurt that this person with whom I shared everything, trusted, who knew how I felt, just saw me as a patient and has now filled up her calendar with someone else. I do not expect a call or invitation to stop by for a talk, but I can't help but wonder how much she actually cared about me if she doesn't check to see how I am doing. So, grief, isolation, hurt, feeling used, those sum it up for me right now. But still, I am grateful because I think that when the "fog" lifts, I will feel better than I did before we began.