I am so frustrated with all of this therapy stuff right now. I don't know what to do anymore because its scaring the crap out of me now. Two weeks ago I told T something very personal, probably the most shameful thing I've ever done in my life and now suddenly I have this overwhelming sadness in me. Not from what I told him, but from everything that has happened to me in the past. I have never been able to talk about those feelings, not those overwhelming sad feelings. I don't even think he realizes just how far that sadness goes...nobody does I've been so good at hiding it all my life. I can't even explain it....I did think about burning him a cd with two songs on it that might help. Anyway...I don't know what to do now, I'm so very scared if I let it out I'm going to self destruct. And how does one let it out in T and walk out that door and go back home and function. My H just doesn't get mt inability to control my emotions anyway and this will just make it harder. I only see T every 2 weeks but did call yesterday and they had a cancellation so I'm going in Thursday. T called me last night because the girls told him I sounded strange and he knows I have been struggling with not using my bad coping skills. So if anyone can offer me some words of advice I would greatly appreciate them. I feel so lost and alone right now....I haven't felt this way in a looooooooong time.
cai