My dear, I really feel for you. I am glad you sound stronger now. I am sure you feel better for it.

Everyone supports you here and the good advice is lovely. I would like just to point out:

His 'nice' behaviour when he sees that you have had enough and stands your corner / serious about leaving - is not necessary culculated. It may be that he is suddenly afraid that you ARE LEAVING! He is dependent on you (it may sound strange) and in that I mean he is dependent on you for his being. So when you are strong and serious about how you want to be treated his game is over and he suddenly faces his abandance issues. This is why I think he is quite. I may be off the mark here but I bet this is whats happening.

Keep up the good work and stay strong and cool! You deserve love and respect!! Hugs xx