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Jan 05, 2010, 10:46 PM
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Member Since: Mar 2009
Location: So Cal
Posts: 3,342
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NuckingFutz
What if someone who has earned your trust wanted to please you sexually for your pleasure approached you...would you still be uncomfortable? Just tryhng to understand this feeling you have.
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Yep...I wouldn't want that. And just knowing that that person did want it would freak me out.
I don't think anyone could ever earn enough of my trust for me to be okay with this. I have had sexual experiences before, not actual intercourse, but foreplay and I had to pretend I was a wh*re to even be able to experience the slightest amount of pleasure. And after we were done, all I wanted to do was to get out of where I was...do anything but stay there.
Foreplay is scary for me, and uncomfortable, but the act of intercourse, to me, is extremely intrusive and feels overwhelmingly bad.
Hug me, snuggle me, kiss me out of love and I'm fine....but the moment it turns into a sexual thing I just can't take it and do not want it. One thing that I know about myself though...is when I talk about love, I am not talking about sexual/intimate love. I don't see sex as love...at all. So when I say that I want something out of love, I don't mean sexual love.
And it's weird...the only reason it bothers me is because I know it's not normal. Not having sex doesn't bother me. But most people don't want a sexless, or intercourseless relationship.
I just can't stand the thought of someone invading me in that way. 
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