Quote:
Originally Posted by BlueMoon6
((((((MUE)))) sorry I am late to your thread.
You know, as a young person I had my most bizarre sexual encounters while in therapy. As a matter of fact, almost all of the bizarre and inappropriate things I used to do were while in therapy. It is a path, it is a process of learning what we want and what works and what doesnt work and what does and doesnt feel good.
You are newly single, this is a big deal. What will feel good and safe to you as a single person now may not be the same things that worked beofre MUE was married.
I see this encounter as a positive actually. I see you putting your toes ini the water again! Go you! OK, maybe it wasnt the best place in the pond to dip your toes in, but I see it more as an experiment in who MUE is now. Does she want casual sex with a friend of the family? What about another relationship? What about an actual date?
So...my take on it is...there is really nothing to beat yourself up about. At all. Your testing the waters. You arent comfortable being the old MUE with sex, so then, what/who is the new MUE? How exciting to be in that place!  |
Thanks....
I did learn from this experience. Although I am unsure of how I attract unhealthy relationships, but I am having a better understanding of why I tend to lean towards giving orally. It protects me from the discomfort with my touch issues. My touch issues stem from years of physical abuse as well as sexual abuse...and being self-conscious of undesireable physical attributes. Giving orally also provides me with a feeling of control over the situation - and gives me the satisfaction of pleasing someone.
I have no idea how that's going to change for me. It's not about finding the right person. It has to be about dealing with these awful insecurities...and I just don't know how that can happen. If unhealthy is all I know, and I am too fearful to be free in a sexual situation, where is the hope?
