guide your anger, dear. I think God chose us to be his hands in this world because the angels, already perfect, would gain nothing themselves from being so used. We, on the other hand, grow and become more like Him who wields us. People are generally very frightened, self interested creatures who don't dare look at themselves for fear of what they might see. In doing so, they seek fault in others (your father, perhaps) and miss not only the bad, but the wealth of good they also bear inside. So they go on living in a shallow little world. You see this right now. It is a suckfest.
Be carefull you do nothing that might lead you to regret your actions, and feel worse about yourself than you do. Stupid people are impressed by stupid things, do you want to cheapen yourself by making yourself impressive to them?
There is also the problem of depression, CK. All to often it blinds us to the good that is being done and said about and to us; we discount it when it happens and we miss it all too often completely this is the illness, CK, not you, but be aware that it can do this so your anger doesn't go out on those who did not mean you harm. Otherwise I agree with Rohag. you are angry at the right things.
Hugggs, and I really hope that there is some solution out there for you. Frustrating being so breakable and fragile with such a big mission, but I thing God knows what he's doing with you. Huggsa again to you and your wife.