Just before the new year commenced I involuntarily have fallen into my bouts and endless marathons of sleep deprivation...my whole body twinges with dull continuous pains that generates thru out all my associated joints and muscles.I have overdosed on tiredness over the last fortnitght or so, that subconciously my mind cannot define when to shut off (just like cell phone battery that loses memory and cannot be defined by full or empty and cannot be charged).True... , I have OCD and depression combined(shall i add reactive depression as a consequence of my OCD)..But i get this reactive depression as I am constantly consumed by intrusive thoughts and ongoin' rituals,( which i can deal with to a certain extent) but as soon as I develop an intermittent knack to shrug it off (temporarily only...as eventually new OCD symptons will later on manifest and take priority)...the true SAGA begins for me..Insomnia eventually followed by ENDOGENOUS depression,which differentiates in character to my reactive depression.I feel totally frustrated almost like under a "spell"..angry and avoiding people and situations of socialising (shopping).Strikingly enough this endogenous form of depression deflects some of my OCD symptons as well as its counterpart (reactive depression). I really dont know how to deal with it as its been my biggest "Demonic combat" since all my issues commenced well over a decade a go. This Endogenous depression puts me in almost a diabolic state of mind that it scares me that i cant stay close by to people,completely opposite to the state of depression when my OCD is at its peak.I inturn set upon my lone pilgramage that I go and live out of cheap motel rooms and even my car sometimes as I consume my life savings from my hey days as a tax payer...But fortunately enough as soon as my OCD and thoughts kick in again and begins to esccelate my endogenous depression begins to whither once more.From Psychologists to Psychiatrists(a fair few) to hospitalisation to bucket loads of medications(both SSRI antidepressants and Tricyclic) I still cant combat this form of beast of depression defined as endogenous..tried sleepers to valium and other sleeping aids but i have been denied for further consumption as my doc was fearing the worst to my reliant on them till further review.I am currently on a moderate to high dose of Zoloft.. for OCD.Thanking you all and I hope some feedback if you like!!!Bless you all!!!!