You sound like a very intelligent man and have a good understanding of your depression but it also sounds like the depression has control of you and you are driven in this pattern. Rather than have it control you is there anything you can do differently to change things?

I personally feel that sleep is the main problem that needs to be addressed first. We can pretty much cope with anything flung at us if we have had enough sleep. It is worth going back to the doc to get something to help you sleep.

I would then urge you to seek psychotherapy, although you have a great understanding of what is going on in your depression cycles but how about looking at the root cause and dealing with that. It would be a painful journey but worth doing as I feel you wouldn't be running from it so much.

Take care.