Hi MUE, you have to do this step by step. I would think that the first step would be just therapy discussing all the feelings that you have that are all locked away and still need to be processed? After this purging then the next step might be more clear? I would think that it would be in a trusting relationship not in a "no relationship but lets have sex" relationship. I can see how this would seem safer, though. Safer because it skips the emotional intimacy which has been or is so hard for all of us who have had less than fortunate upbringings. You can do this MUE! It will be YOUR journey of self discovery.........