Ah, thank you for elaborating. Honestly, I believe that the reasons behind my relationship difficulties were less due to my bipolar than they were due to other factors. I could be a poster child for the dysfunctional lifestyle. I was raised by two alcoholic parents, was an undiagnosed bipolar child, had the worst self-esteem in the world, was untreated for years, was misdiagnosed and treated for an incorrect diagnosis for 19 years, and then finally, at the age of 52, was finally diagnosed correctly.

I've probably spent more time examining the causes and effects of these things on my life than the average person. And in all honesty, I have to say that the one thing that had the biggest impact on my relationships was the alcoholism. I'm not saying that being bipolar didn't cause problems because it did. Probably the biggest problem was the way I spent money irresponsibly. But in the relationship itself, the effects of being raised by alcoholic parents, and in particular a mother who used to beat me, had the biggest impact upon my ability to maintain intimate relationships. I couldn't trust anyone. And I didn't have a clue. I thought I had a handle on it but I was clueless. Two of those men I was married to, I did them a favor by divorcing them. The other one, he wasn't such a catch and I'm probably better off.

I think this answers your question, finally.