Terrible day today.

I was still upset from a lot of people on PC saying I should get over my EX and focus on me. I feel like they didn't understand where I was coming from.

Talked to my EX via text a little, wish we could talk in person, I can't say everything I need to fast enough, so I cut things short, and it sounds more accusative than I mean it to.

Went to Pdoc and we talked. He said that he doesn't know how it will work between my Ex and I, but that I need to set small goals, and try to reach them. Then I will have things more positive to talk to my Ex about and that may lead me where I want to go. We talked about a few other things, but I feel like the sessions are kinda short, probably because I'm long winded. He upped my prescription to 200mg and we were on our way (I am going to have to get my parents to try to pay for it because I have no money.

Then I tried to sign up for the college turned state college. Got through the proof of residence/ transcripts from old college. Went to talk to an Advisor, she said that I didn't have the Math/Reading requirement because I didn't have them at my old college and my SAT was over 2 years old and had expired. She said I had to take some ridiculous long (but probably incredibly easy for me) test before we could move on. Went to the testing people, who looked at my transcript and said "Well your AP/IB credits should take care of that. The problem was I didn't realize I needed my scores, because the credits already showed up on my transcripts. After a lot of bouncing back and forth for 4 hours, they finally said that they would assume I had them, and to bring the scores the next day (they were trying to get me to come in the morning earlier, and do everything tomorrow) and that I could sign up for classes. We then went to financial aid. I had already filled out the FAFSA which you need to get started. I had done it rather late, because I had a hard time motivating myself ever since the middle of when I was at college due to said depression, but early enough to where they had the info. Unfortunately there was more info (a lot of which was basically saying "prove it" to half the stuff we'd already done for the FAFSA) that I didn't realize I needed, and that info would take 3-5 weeks to process, meaning I didn't have the money for this semester (not until may more than likely), unless I started paying for classes out of pocket, which I can't afford . That would be fine, I'd just start classes later, but I (since December) had to start paying 50$ a month for my previous loan because I had been out of school so long. This would be deferred once I was in school, so I wouldn't have to worry about it had I gotten in. The problem is, I don't have the money now past this month because I've been out of work so long (and I don't think I could hold a job right now anyways because of my depression, and I'm not up to the full dosage until I see my Pdoc again in 3 weeks). My parents are both Custodians, so they don't have the money either.

So its basically a giant catch-22 and I don't know what to do. I cried the entire car ride home, and made my mom almost cry (she felt bad for bringing me to the college, but if she didn't I'd still be in the same predicament)

So yea. Feel like ****. finally stopped crying typing this. Am going to try to talk to my Ex about it and more because I obviously can't do anything regarding school (My "little goal") now.