Hi. I go through periods of feeling this way too. I know in my head that I am talented and competent and can do many things and meet demands of others, but sometimes I do my best, but then I feel like such a failure. Like I could have done so much better.
I think why do I even try, I'm not any good. I can't compare to others. I defeat my own self with negative thoughts. I beat my own self up with self-doubt.
Sometimes I''ll say to my hubby and daughter, I can't do that/this, it's horrible, ot I look horrible, or I'll sound horrible, and they reassure me until I feel like I'm begging for attention, which I really am not.
I like the saying, I haven't won, but neither have I lost.
We have to keep trying, no matter what.
I sing in churches, am told I sound good. I don't care how I sound, I just love to sing. But when my boss tells me I can't carry a tune, I feel like crying. Why does his opinion matter so much? If I hum, he cracks a joke about needing the radio on. I never hum anymore.
We need to not let others keep us from doing what makes us happy. If they don't like something, they can hit the door! But then, I get that self-loathing thing going and I'm not so brave. I beat myself up and down. I hate when I do that.
Cat