Thread: anniversary
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Old Jan 06, 2010, 08:22 PM
kebsfroggy's Avatar
kebsfroggy kebsfroggy is offline
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Member Since: Aug 2007
Location: Lily Pad, USA
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Oh my dear friend I so remember going through those times. Even now sometimes I try to make myself the other me. It just doesn't happen. Why can't we over come those problems and be our selves again. We use to do it so easily now each little step doesn't help. I finally realized I can never be that other me again. But it still hurts. If you find the answer please pass it along.
((((( Tumnus )))))
kebs

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tumnus View Post
So, the end of this month marks the two-year anniversary of my attempt on my life. January's always a hard month for me, but for the last three years this month has felt like some sort of horrible abyss. I screwed up on the job this weekend and feel like quitting. I'm so disappointed with myself. I am having problems connecting with people the way I want to. I miss the leader I was becoming in high school. That part of me seems to have vanished, though I keep picking up leadership roles as if the old me will come back, then failing (or quitting) because the old me is there in thought only. How can I feel such passion for things and not follow through? I've begun to see all the areas in my life in which I have been asking people to parent me. It's like I finally realized what it means to be an adult and am so ashamed that I haven't been acting like one. I feel like I'm just a self-centered, needy little brat.

Am I doomed to have a miserable January every year for the rest of my life?
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kebs