I'm sorry you are experiencing so much pain. Did you feel pressured to terminate/end the therapy when you did or was it your decision? Termination should be one of the most important stages of the analysis to be worked through. It sounds like this stage wasn't successfully completed prior to your leaving analysis - is it possible to go back and fully work through all these feelings? I know some analysts allow their patients to taper off gradually i.e. instead of just going from 4/5 times a week to stopping, the patient first reduces the frequency of sessions down to once or twice weekly and continues like this for a year or so before finally parting ways.

If you really are suffering and the option doesn't exist to return to your former analyst, perhaps you can consider working through these feelings with a new therapist - but perhaps this time with a psychodynamic therapist once or twice a week?

I don't see my analyst as frequently as you saw yours but I can understand the feeling of anxiety at the thought of terminating. I think there is a real danger with such in depth work that this part of the process isn't successfully worked through - that's why it's so important that the patient has to be ready before walking out of the door for the last time.

Onzi