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Originally Posted by mixedup_emotions
It's amazing how much I can relate to your post...Not recognizing improvements...being fearful that expressing positive feelings would lead to the support being taken away....thinking that no one would really be interested in how I feel...recognizing my focus on unpleasantness rather than positivity....
Well, if one day at a time and baby steps are too hard...which - for me right now is too hard - then we'll have to try one minute at a time and build up from there!   |
Well, I wish you didn't feel the same, but it is strangely comforting to know that the bits of depression I don't talk about much IRL are not unique to me. I don't know why it is so hard to acknowledge progress and so on - a lot has happened this past year and I am relatively intact - I think that maybe this time I want to get properly better rather than just better enough, but that seems a dauntingly tall order at times. Minute by minute is fine too
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Originally Posted by ECHOES
I think this way too, theave.
I told my T that I do and that even though it worries me, I want to be able to share good things with her, too.  |
That is great Echoes - I will aspire to do the same when I go back next month
I suppose it is still early days with my T and although I like her and think she is good and is helping, maybe I am still holding back a bit. I haven't got used to the fact that it's my decision to carry on seeing her - I have always been extremely compliant with anyone involved in my care in case it gets taken away (well, apart from the time I got angry and upset with a locum gp who sent me to hospital as she didn't know what to do with me). I had some comments early on in depression from friends and family, about how lucky I was to be offered support (oh - so not because I needed it then?) and how lucky I was that my OH was pitching in to keep things going as a family (if I'd been ill with something else would that have been said? unlikely) - so those sorts of comments have made it harder on me to accept depression as an illness rather than personal weakness.
I had a good chat (and cry) with my OH this evening and that really helps - he really is a complete star. Being in a new place does make it hard - either feeling fake or hiding, neither of which are helpful.
Thank you both again, and take care
