Starrina!

Thanks for the update but really sad that you are going through a rough patch!

I have no personal experience exactly of the sterik word, but I know from the experience of a family of my relatives that such attempt has longer effect not only on the attempter but also his/her families. Also it leaves some marks on the body and the soul.

I wish you all the best and I know you will get through these times. Wishes and prayers your way!!!