Thread: people
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Old Aug 13, 2005, 10:24 AM
Kalamity Kalamity is offline
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Member Since: Oct 2003
Location: Minnesota, USA
Posts: 168
this seemed the only appropriate place for this - sorry if it doesn't belong in this forum.

I'm frustrated and angry and this isn't new ground for me. I cannot communicate with people on the level with which they desire. I cannot talk to strangers as though I am familiar with them. I cannot feign closeness to people I don't know - especially when I struggle with being close to my own son. I cannot say things that I do not feel and I do not think to say some of the things that other people do - those are not natural thoughts for me. I am not a cold and uncaring person. I am a product of my childhood.

My every effort to change and be part of a social group is thwarted. I don't communicate in an acceptable way and people just blow me off. What else am I to feel but that it's pointless to even try?

I know I'm not here much. There's a reason for that - I lack social skills. I don't know how to talk to people. I get angry because people ignore me or don't understand what I'm saying. Because it so often feels like people are telling me how wrong I am and spend little time being a friend to me like they are everyone else. Should I stay and vent my anger and have everyone hate me for being angry all the time? Wouldn't that be nearly the same as my just doing everyone the favor of staying away, but better?

If I didn't need the internet for school I would have my connection turned off and save myself both the money and the pain and frustration of feeling hated by everyone online.

I almost rather not receive replies as it's equally frustrating to know that the only time anyone pays attention to me is when I'm angry.

Sorry. I needed to vent.